


Suicide Squad Rewrite

by disastergrace



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (2012-2013), Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: (But Joker and Harley would kill every single member of the squad for each other with no hesitation), Clowns of Crime, Crazy But Not Toxic Love, Everyone Is Fucked Except The Squad Members, F/M, God help anyone who disrespects the Queen, Griggs Is Fucked, Healthy Joker/Harleen Quinzel, I Just Think He Could Be Redeemed If Given The Chance, I'm Sorry, I'm Too Lazy To Type All The Characters, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Joker x Harley Week, King and Queen of Gotham City, No abuse, Protective Harley, Protective joker, Squad as family, Suicide Squad (2016) But With The Joker Being A Member Of The Suicide Squad, This Is Leto!Joker, Waller Got Harley AND Joker, Waller Is Fucked, Well As Healthy As Two Murderers Can Be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:48:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28005651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disastergrace/pseuds/disastergrace
Summary: Suicide Squad rewritten to include Joker as a member of the Suicide Squad.That night, when the purple lambo went into the water, Joker lied in wait. Patiently watching for when the Bat rose from the water with his girl clutched in his arms before he struck, violently cackling and lashing out as he tried to save his girl from the darkness of Arkham Asylum, only for both of them to end up somewhere much much worse.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	1. Intro: Batsy, Batsy, Batsy

Harley snarled, hand slashing upwards towards B-Brain’s face, the swirling water slowing the blade’s momentum. The grown man playing dress up dodged her neatly, smacking her hand down and throwing his own into her face, a sharp pain erupting as a result. Harley saw the world go dark, the last thing she saw was her own blood streaming upwards from her nose, and the permanent scowl on Batsy’s face. 

* * *

Joker sat waiting on a nearby car parked in an alley, waiting for Batman to haul his girl out of the water. As much as the idea of that overgrown bat putting his hands on Harley made J want to cut them off, he knew that he wouldn’t have been able to get them both out of the water safely without both of them ending up in Arkham. This way, best case scenario, he got to scuffle with Batman and get his Harley back, ending with him and his girl rolling around their silk sheets all night long. Worst case scenario, one of them ended up in the asylum, but at least one of them was free to break the other out. When the hero’s head rose above the water, J shifted onto the balls of his feet, adjusting his grip on the serrated blade he always kept tucked into his jacket. 

And then there was Harley, limp in his arms with make-up streaked down her cheeks and her perfect curls ruined, swinging and dripping water across the pavement with each of Batman’s steps. The sight of her hurt and being manhandled, with blood smeared across her face, made J’s teeth grit, the urge to see Batbrain’s blood splattered across her instead rising in his gut. He’d never actually wanted to kill the Bat before, well aware of how boring his life would be without his counterpart, and it’s not as if this was the first time Harley’s been captured, but it was the first time she wasn’t fighting the whole way. 

Usually, whenever she was being toted off, she was screeching and clawing and biting the whole way, so seeing her limp and covered in cuts and bruises made Joker even more homicidal than usual. Joker’s eyes never once left the form of his Harley Quinn as Batman walked to his tank of a car. He watched as she was gently set down, rage bubbling in his chest as Batman pressed his lips to hers, though he couldn’t tell if it was due to the fact that J hadn’t noticed she wasn’t breathing or another man pressing his lips to her, only to end up laughing lowly at his girl’s mischievous action of pulling the man to her. 

Jealousy joined the rage and amusement when the vigilante didn’t pull away instantaneously, knowing full well the allure that Harley held with her athletic curves and kisses of bubblegum and cherries. When the Dark Knight finally wrenched away, whether finally escaping Harley’s tight grip or coming to his senses the Joker didn’t know, he struck Harley across the face, rendering her unconscious and pissing off J even further. She collapsed with a thud, Batman taking the opportunity to cuff her, as J slid stealthily from the shadows, knife at the ready. 

With a cackle he brought the knife down on his enemies back, laughing at the thought of literally stabbing Batsy in the back, only to grit his teeth angrily when the armour deflected it easily. Batman spun around, forearm knocking the knife from his hand and his heavy foot coming down on J’s knee with a crunch. 

Joker grunted as he hit the ground, kneeling on his good knee, “Hello, Batsy.”

“Joker. Giving up now would be easier on both of us.” His answering laugh sent chills down Bruce’s back, an unnerving mixture of anger, desperation, and insanity. 

“That doesn’t sound like any fun.” His body wracked with laughter as his fingers slowly slid behind his back and gripped the second knife tucked into his waistband. Batman heaved a sigh at the familiar routine and slid back into a fighting stance. 

When his fingers wrapped around the hilt of the blade, J launched to his feet, blade aimed for his nemesis’ throat. Batman’s hand came up and gripped the blade mere inches from its target, surprised when it managed to pierce through his suit due to the angry adrenaline fueling Joker’s strength. The realization that the clown was so close to slicing his throat made him pause and gave Joker the opportunity to punch him in the jaw. 

Bats grunted, shaking his head once, before grabbing the clown by the throat. “Knock it off, Joker. Come quietly so I don’t have to break any more of your bones.” 

Somehow, even with the death grip on his throat, J managed to let out a laugh, kicking out and pushing off his chest, and with the added momentum, kicked the broad man under the chin. Batman gave up trying to reason with the psychotic man, not quite sure why he’d attempted to do so to begin with, and resorted to knocking him out with a swift strike to the temple. The Joker crumbled, Batman letting him hit the asphalt with a satisfying crack, before throwing him next to Harley Quinn and cuffing him tightly. 


	2. Chapter One: Give Her Back To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker and Harley wake up somewhere that definitely isn't Arkham Asylum.

(How can you not be attracted to this man I really don't understand)

Harley woke with a groan, rubbing her head and peering round with wide blue eyes. “Mistah J?” Silence was her only answer, and she clambered to her feet, taking in the drab orange and off white outfit she’d been dressed in, annoyance at the lack of color and the thought of someone else seeing what belonged to J causing her to scowl. The room she was in was small, and she could stretch out her arms and touch each drab wall. The majority of the floor space was taken up by a shitty, falling apart cot. 

Harley kicked the cot angrily, they couldn’t even bother to give her a proper shitty cot? The door was solid, two small cut outs the only decoration it had. One was square, obviously so they could see and speak to her, and the other was a food tray slot. Her hair was matted and dirty, making her wonder just how long she’d been out for. Surely a tinsy punch from Batsy wouldn’t put her out this long. She huffed some hair out of her face and stomped her foot. Well this sucked. 

The sound of footsteps echoed outside of her cell, the owner obviously wearing heavy boots if she could hear them this well. She sped over to the door and banged on it angrily, shoving her face against the reinforced window. “HEY! Hey, you! Where am I? What is this place? This isn’t Arkham!” Her Brooklyn accent was thick with panic at the realization that this was somewhere new, J wouldn’t know where she was! “Hey!” The guard walked up to the door, poorly groomed facial hair making his sneer more apparent even as his black eyes leered at her. 

“Shut it, hot stuff.” Harley let out an annoyed noise at his words, displeased with every part of that sentence. 

“Not till you tell me where the hell I am! And where’s Mistah J? Is he okay? Did he get away?” He grinned sadistically when she brought up her lover, leaning closer to the window. 

“You’re in a pit, sweetness. A deep dark pit in the middle of shit swamp Louisiana. And your precious clown?” He stepped to the side, dirty finger pointing at the cell adjacent to hers. “Well he’s fuming in our nicest room just there. Only the best for clown royalty.” He was so close. So, so close. She just had to get out of that room. She shrieked angrily, and began punching the door and window aggressively, not feeling it as the skin tore and blood ran over her porcelain skin, a vibrant red against striking white, her shrieks continuing angrily. The guard jumped back, startled by her sudden psychotic episode, causing Harley to grin twistedly in triumph. 

“Let me out! Let me out!” He just stood there, staring at her in shock of the amount of violence that could be held in such a pretty little thing with princess colored hair and big blue eyes. His refusal to comply to her demands enraged her even further, and the next thing she knew her whole body was meeting the harsh metal of the door, more blood spilling and white skin turning blue with bruises. “Let. Me. Out.” With each word, the door shook with the force of her collision, Griggs starting to worry that she might actually succeed in taking it down. He backed up even further nervously, hand going to his baton and pulling it out, knuckles white from his tight grip. The sound of Harley’s enraged shrieks reached the Joker, and his brow furrowed at the thought that one: she was close enough for him to hear her, and two: someone or something had pissed her off enough to skip past the toying phase and straight to the murder phase. He stepped up to his own window to see his girl frantically throwing herself at her door, shrieking and punching angrily. Next, his eyes landed on a somewhat stout man in a guard’s uniform with dark hair standing between their two doors and holding a nightstick nervously. 

Joker grinned widely; that looked like fun, besides, last thing he needed right now was some dick guard focusing all his attention on his girl. 

Griggs narrowed his eyes at the pale, aggressive woman. “Knock it off you psycho bitch.” He swallowed back a shriek when the door behind him began shaking as well, loud harsh growls making Griggs shiver. He stood there, horror on his face as the two deadly lovers took on foot thick steel in an attempt to reach each other, nearly succeeding with each try, knowing that if they got out he was dead. 

“Give her back to me!” The Joker’s words promised violence, feral energy emanating from his every pore, muscles coiled tightly and blue eyes almost black. He hated that she was so close but he couldn’t touch her, fingers twitching with the urge to run through her hair, and even more annoyance bubbling up at the sentimental urge. 

“Shut. Up!” Griggs slid the baton back onto his belt, ripping his gun out instead. 

“Let me out!” Her words made the Joker’s growl louder and angrier, pissed that his wild partner was being caged. Griggs fumbled for the button on his radio, frantic to get some help. 

“I need back up in cell block D, the clowns are misbehaving.” He fought to keep his voice steady and the fear out of it as the time between the shaking of the doors decreased. “KNOCK IT OFF!” He moved closer to Harley’s cell, deciding she was the less dangerous of the two, and caught a glimpse of her as she backed up for another run, the Joker gritting his teeth as the man moved closer to his partner. 

Griggs gulped as he took in the prisoner, she looked truly psychotic, hair wild and matted, flesh covered in blood, and eyes gleaming with murderous intent. “Ah fuck.” She had managed to finally get a fist through the glass, how he had no idea, he theorized the power of psychosis, and he happened to be just a tad too close. 

She grabbed his throat, long nails digging in, and pulled him angrily against the door, breaking one of his ribs and tearing even further into his throat. Now  _ that’s _ what J was talking about. Griggs screamed, hands flying up to grip her wrist as the Joker stopped attacking his own cell and began cackling hysterically as his muffled voice reached them and egged her on. “Harley, baby, you sure make Daddy proud.” She continued shrieking as Griggs brought his hands up, wrapping his hands around her wrist and twisting sharply with a crack. J watched with horror as the guard snapped the bone, rage filling him to the brim as he pictured different ways to make the fucker scream. Harley cried out and dropped the guard, bringing her wrist to her chest and cradling it as she sobbed. Her cries were like knives to his cold, dead, heart, and got the Joker going again, spitting curses and graphic threats at the guard who’d damaged his Harley. “I’m going to rip your teeth out and feed them to you one by one.” 

With that, the back up finally arrived, pulling Griggs back as he held his throat, blood leaking between his fingers as another ran up to Harley’s cell and shoved the butt of his gun through the shattered window, into her temple, knocking her back out and causing her to crumble. “HARLEY!” J finally managed to push his fist through the window and he began throwing sharp nails and bits of metal he’d ripped from his cot after coming to as hard as he could, letting out a sharp, sadistic cackle with each one that met its target. 

“Stop it, put the weapons down, Joker!” The guards shook their automatic weapons at him threateningly, but the clown wasn’t deterred, the anger at watching his girl be hurt in front of him and not being able to stop it clouding his vision. He grinned darkly, throwing a nail straight into the eye of the guard who’d spoken, giggling sadistically when he screamed and dropped to his knees. 

Griggs had told Waller, had warned her when she had ordered them to put Harley and the Joker near each other, that it would end badly. Cocky bitch. He lurched to his feet, choking out the words he knew would slow the bastard down. “Sit the fuck down, Joker, before I go in there and see how loud I can make your precious Harlequin scream.” J couldn’t help the genuine laugh that bubbled out at the weak threat, only for it to be cut off sharply at the sight of the soldier sliding open her door. 

Harley had come back to a few minutes prior, and crouched predatorily when she heard the threat, praying they’d be foolish enough to actually try, launching out the door when it slid open. She took the first guard she saw down with her, biting his ear- making sure to dig her canines in tightly- and tearing it clean from his head. She laughed as blood gushed from the hole in his head, the Joker joining her, “That’s my girl.” 

But she wasn’t satisfied; her fingers flew to the man’s eyes, nails digging in harshly as she grimaced at the feel of eye goo under her nails. “Ewww. I think you might need some new eyeballs, mister.” Her laughter echoed eerily, and finally a braver guard surged forward, jamming a taser into Harley’s ribs and causing her to convulse violently as she fell onto her side. 

Joker roared, enraged at the rough treatment of his Harlequin, picking up the one remaining part of his cot, a long thin rod, and threw it hard, watching with satisfaction as it pierced Harley’s assaillent through the chest with a crunch of flesh and bone, blood erupting around it. He had a rule- don’t touch Harley. 

The remaining guards stared in horror at their mutilated companions for a heavy moment before one pounced on the unconscious woman, yanking her arms into a straitjacket unnecessarily roughly as another rushed to the Joker’s door and shoved a stun baton through the window, narrowly missing the clown as he deftly leapt backwards. 

He laughed as the guard missed him, wiggling his fingers at him tauntingly. “Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me.” The final words were accompanied by J rushing forward, and taking a cue from Harley, he shoved his head through the hole in his door as he bit the other man’s nose, ripping his head backwards and bringing the appendage with him. He spat it out onto the cold concrete and grinned, teeth red with blood. “Got your nose!” He stepped on it, grinding it into a smear and laughing gleefully at all the action he was seeing today. The guard was screaming, horrified, as he stumbled backwards a step, hands fumbling for something that was no longer there. “Tsk, tsk. Didn’t they teach you anything in training, like not to get so close?” J stalked up to the door and swiped out, landing a solid punch on the man’s jaw and causing him to fall, head meeting the ground with a resounding  _ crack _ . 

Joker watched, seething, as they hauled Harley up, tossing her carelessly over one of their shoulders, underestimating how soon she’d be coming round after the viscous shock she’d received (she’d be receiving multiple sedatives later on seeing how she kept starting to come to while the nurses patched her up.) The clown growled when they all looked at her ass appreciatively as her captor strutted by, and slammed his hands onto the door, bringing all their attention back to him. “Not very polite to eye up a lady like that, gentlemen.” 

One made the mistake of snorting derisively, “That’s not a lady. That’s barely even a human being.” The Joker grew eerily still, before spinning to find something else in his room to kill the fucker with. When he found nothing he punched the door again, ignoring the fact that it caused his hand to start bleeding once more, instead staring intently at the man to memorize his face. When he got out of there that bitch was  _ dead _ . 

Realizing that he was without his signature smile, his lips spread unnaturally wide but his dust blue eyes stayed just as cold. “Watch yourself, friend.” His voice was back to that lilting, swaying way he spoke, rather than words being ground and growled out, it really was enchanting. “Wouldn’t want to have an  _ accident _ at work, would we? Trying to get workman’s comp from places like this is a bitch.” He hadn’t stopped smiling as he spoke, unnerving his new best friend and causing him to shiver and take a step back. “Better be gentle with my Harley girl. She’s a biter.” His grin grew impossibly wide as he shot them a wink, the murderous glint in his eyes not once fading. 

Griggs, whose throat had finally stopped bleeding, stepped up, clutching his ribs. “Don’t worry, Joker. I’ll take real good care of her for you. Hell, she might be calling me daddy next time you see her.” At that, the Joker laughed, silver grill shining in the low light. As if Harley would ever let him touch her, much less supplant J with him. 

“Sorry, pal. My Harley has  _ needs _ . And I don’t think your itty bitty dick will be able to fulfill said needs.” Griggs grit his teeth and stormed over to J’s door angrily, only to be held back by Johnson. 

“Don’t, sir. You don’t want to end up like Fredrick.” He nodded at the now noseless man being carted off by one of the nurses who’d come down, shaking his head sadly at the sight. 

J, who’d shifted to the balls of his feet and was more than happy to show the fucker just who his “daddy” was, growled in annoyance at the other man’s interference. He kicked the door as all the guards walked off, supporting those who remained that had been injured by either a feral Harley, or J’s torn up cot. A nurse came up to him, standing just outside of reach, and tsked. 

“You know, Mr. Joker, your life here would be a lot less unpleasant if you’d just cooperate.” He didn’t dignify that with a response, simply snarling at her and leaving it at that. She sighed and nodded as if she’d expected him to respond as such, and took a step back. “I figured. Well, Mr. Joker, I’m off to get a sedative so we can get you down to the infirmary and take a look at those hands. I’ll be back in a minute.” He grumbled annoyedly, sitting down against a wall with a clear view of the window. He’d be waiting, he hadn’t had his fill of fun just yet. 

Harley woke up back in her cell to pain and a nurse pulling an IV from the crook of her arm as two guards stood behind her. Not even pausing to truly evaluate the situation, Harley shot up and onto the nurse, wrenching a needle from the nurse’s pocket (moron) and jamming it into her neck. “The doctor is in!” She giggled and stepped over the limp nurse, grinning twistedly at the guards. “Hi! Harley Quinn, Nice to meetcha!” She held her hand out as if for them to shake, knowing they’d try to cuff her, and when the guard grabbed her wrist she twisted her hand, wrenching the guard’s arm out of it’s socket. She threw her leg over his disformed shoulder and spun around his neck, throwing them both to the ground. She pulled her arm back, throwing her whole self into the punch she threw into nose. She dug her nails around his trachea, deciding that if she couldn’t rip out Griggs’ throat this guy would have to suffice. 

When she decided they were deep enough, she tore his throat out with vigor, grinning as the blood arched and coated her already bloody uniform in a fresh coat. She threw the mangled bit of flesh over her shoulder and left him there to choke on his own blood as he bled out all over her cell. This whole time the other guard had simply been shouting, and when she turned to him, he sprinted out the still open door. Harley grinned, crouched threateningly, and dashed after him, hair streaming behind her. 

“Where ya going? Don’t you wanna play?” She giggled menacingly. He stopped in front of Joker’s cell and turned to face her, nightstick held in front of him and shaking violently. 

“St-stay back.” She cocked her head and shifted to the balls of her feet, determined to take on her sixth person today. 

“Hmmmm. No.” She lashed out, barefoot crushing what she was sure was a micro dick beneath her toes. When he dropped to his knees with a groan, she grabbed him by the jaw, other hand gripping the back of his head. “Bye, bye!” In an impressive show of strength, she snapped his neck easily. “It’s been fun, mister.” She waved cheekily and skipped over to the door keeping her from her beloved, growling in annoyance at the sight of an empty cell. 

She stood there for a second, thinking, before skipping back over to the dead guard and taking his gun and nightstick. She continued into her cell and stood over the prone nurse. “Hey, lady?” When she didn’t rouse after a few seconds, Harley lost all patience and simply kicked her in the ribs. “Hey, lady!” 

The nurse jumped awake with a shriek, scrambling away from the blood soaked woman standing over her. “Please don’t hurt me!” 

Harley laughed, and shook her head. “I’m not gonna hurt ya, you’re gonna help me.” 

“N-no I’m not.” 

Her grin turned from friendly to dark, bending down to look her dead in the eye. “Oh, I think you are.” 


	3. Chapter Two: Hiya, I'll Take My Puddin Back Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley gets further separated from her Mistah J and raises hell to get his back.

Harley stepped around the corner and into the infirmary, smiling happily at the shock of green hair visible above the doctor bent over him. She tightened her grip on the baton she had crushing the nurse’s throat and shifted the gun to aim at the physician’s head, before clearing her throat. 

The doctor jumped, spinning to face her. When he took in the sight of a familiar blood soaked blonde holding a nurse hostage, he fell off his stool. Harley grinned, fluttering her eyelashes at him since she couldn’t wave. “Hiya! I’ll take my Puddin now! We’ll just be on our way with my new nurse best friend.” 

“I-I can’t le-let you t-take him. I’m sorry, Miss. Quinn.” 

Her grin became feral as her finger tightened on the trigger of the gun, and her head tilted. “I wasn’t asking, Doc.” She walked around him, making sure to keep her gun trained between his eyes and the nurse tight to her body. 

“But, um,” he choked, stepping back and keeping his hands raised as he watched her warily. “But, I’m not done fixing him up! Yeah, you don’t want to take him away from medical assistance!” 

“Oh, don’t worry, Doctor…” she narrowed her eyes at the name tag on his chest, “Doctor Franklin. We’ve got all the help we need at home, I went to medical school too you know. Technically it’s  _ Doctor _ Quinn.” She waved the gun between him and her lover, eyes narrowing. “Now wake him up and unstrap him.” The doctor looked horrified at the thought of a conscious and free Joker, Harley cocking the gun angrily to get him to move. “Move!”

He rushed to her Puddin’s side, ripping the IV from his arm and loosening the straps. “Take them off all the way, Franklin.” He gulped, looking between the two of them warily before apparently deciding he’d rather face the possibility of getting killed by an angry Joker than definitely get shot and killed by an angry Harley Quinn. 

“Where’s the epinephrine?” He looked at her bewildered. 

“What?” 

“Where’s the epinephrine?! I want him up and moving or Nurse Jackie’s brains will be decorating this bland infirmary! You really could use some color.” She smiled sweetly and pressed the gun to her captive’s temple harshly, causing her to wince. 

“Okay! Okay, just don’t hurt her.” 

“No promises. No hurry up, bub, before I get bored and shoot you both for entertainment.” He nodded frantically and fumbled through a nearby drawer, pulling out a syringe before uncapping it. “Faster!” He winced with each jab of the gun in his direction, and slammed the needle straight into J’s chest before the green haired man shot up with a gasp, hand crushing the doctor’s throat out of instinct. 

Joker looked around, confused, as he came to in a medical room rather than his cell, a smile crawling across his face when he saw Harley. If he had a heart it would’ve skipped a beat at the sight of her, littered with bruises and cuts, drenched in blood and wild eyed as she held a nurse and doctor- well a now dead doctor- hostage, as she had somehow managed to get her tiny hands on a guard’s gun and baton. “Harley, baby,” he purred, leaping off the bed with cat like agility, “come to help Daddy?” 

She grinned, bouncing on her toes excitedly. “You know it, Pud.” She winked, tightening her grip on the baton. “Your escape awaits, Daddy.” 

“You never cease to amaze me, looney toon.” He stalked over to her, eyes dark with lust as he threw the nurse she’d been clutching to her chest away and into a wall. His long fingers gripped her waist, yanking her into his chest, before pressing the length of his body against hers with a wicked grin. She giggled childishly, biting her lip and fluttering her eyes enticingly. 

“Yeah?”

“Oh yes.” His growl caused her core to clench and she flung her arms around his neck. He quickly crushed his lips to hers, fingers gripping her hips tight enough to leave bruises, her fingers twisted into his green locks. His teeth bit down on her bottom lip roughly, pulling it into his mouth, and taking her gasp as an opportunity to shove his tongue into her mouth. She groaned, pushing her lithe body against him as closely as she could, before pulling away. 

“As much fun as this is, Pud, we’ve got to get a move on.” He chuckled and nodded his head concedingly before they both turned to the unconscious nurse with a wicked grin. “Ya like my leverage?” She peered at him with big, baby blues and a broad smile. 

He rolled his neck with a crack, a purr slipping from his clenched teeth. “Oh, very well done, honey.” She squealed happily and clutched his arm, one foot in the air. 

“I’m glad you like her, J! She’s been very helpful.” He grinned at her as they reached down to pull her between them, prepared to use her as a meat shield at any moment. Harley moved from his side for a few moments, much to J’s annoyance if his growl was any sign, to search through the room for anything useful. She found a taser taped under J’s bed for the doctor’s protection, six scalpels, and two pairs of scissors. “Alright, Puddin! Let’s blow this popsicle stand.” They both laughed at the cheesy line and dragged the nurse with them as they scurried down the hall. 

They were within eyesight of the exit doors when the guards finally caught up to them, the sound of thundering footsteps and cocking guns filling the air. “Ready for some fun, Harls?” She returned his grin and twirled under the nurse’s limp arm. 

“Always, Pud!” She giggled and looked at him lovingly as she spun to face the swarm of armed men, her delicate wrists flicking towards them in a near invisible motion. The next thing the guards knew, there were scalpels lodged in the first four of their throat’s, blood spurting onto the floor as they collapsed. “Hiya, boys!” She waved cutely at them, frowning when they didn’t wave back. “What? Ya not happy to see us?” Her pout was over exaggerated and contrasted nicely against the Joker’s impossibly wide smile. “Well,” she whined as they moved into a combat formation, “that’s not very nice is it, Puddin?” He grinned down at her, the thrill of violence and toying with heads filling him. 

“Not at all, Harls. Not nice at all.” 

“Guess we’ll just have to teach them a lesson.” Her words were light, but her eyes promised violence. 

“It seems they’ve left us no choice.” He shook his head in faux disappointment before his hand flew forward and shot five of them right between the eyes impossibly fast. 

“Oh!” She clapped happily. “Nice shot, J!” 

“Thank you, my dear.” 

“My turn, my turn!” She let go of the nurse and stretched languidly. 

“Joker, Quinn, return to your cells and you won’t come to any harm.” The two laughed at the guard’s words, the threat falling flat as so far he was down nine and the two of them were down none.

“Well that’s no fun! Besides, it’s my turn!” She contorted into impressive back flips and aerial turns as she leapt their way, scalpels and scissors lodged in the throats and eyes of each guard she passed, causing Joker to laugh and clap in appreciation of both the violence and the show of her gymnastic capabilities. 

“Well done, Harls! Excellent show!” She bowed happily to him and the remaining guards before dancing back over to him, giggling. 

“I aim to please, Pud.” He quirked a nonexistent brow at her annoyedly and she quickly fixed her mistake, knowing he got easily jealous. “You. I aim to please you, J.” He smirked happily, the possessiveness that had flared now soothed. 

“Is it my turn?” She nodded, hair bouncing around her heart shaped face as she took the nurse into her arms, freeing his own. 

“Enough!” Griggs strolled up, gauze wrapped tightly around his throat, aiming his weapon at Harley. “That’s enough, clowns. Back to your cells.” They grinned emptily at him and shook their heads, unnerving Griggs with how in sync they moved with no effort. 

“Sorry big boy,” J purred, “I’ve got places to be and Harleys to do.” He sent his shorter counterpart a wink and she blushed prettily. 

“Aw, Puddin!” She pushed onto her tip toes and kissed him firmly on the lips, causing Griggs to gag. 

“Ugh, clown porn was never my thing. Knock it off, freaks.” Harley’s head ripped away from Joker, eyes narrowing on Griggs as she shifted as if to protect J from his words. 

“Weren’t you calling me hot stuff earlier, shrimp dick?” Joker cackled at her insult, kissing the top of her head in a rare show of gentle affection, ignoring the anger that burned in his chest at the mental image of that meat bag hitting on his Harley. 

Griggs snarled (it was pitiful compared to her Daddy’s), hand grabbing at his crotch crudely. “I’ll show you dick, hotness.”

She gagged exaggeratedly, finger pointed into her mouth. “I’d rather be shot.” She followed the words by sticking her tongue out in disgust. 

J had growled loudly at the man’s words, pulling Harley firmly against his chest and vowing to find Griggs on the outside and cut said dick off before force feeding it to him. Hmmm, maybe he’d blend it in front of him and force him to drink it. He was brought back to reality by Harley saying she’d rather be shot, preparing to pull her out of the way if need be, a slight annoyance at how protective he was of this tiny crazy woman rising up in his chest. 

“Harley.” His tone was full of warning as he began to drag them backwards towards the doors, leaving the nurse on the ground after deciding the hassle wasn’t worth it. 

“That I can do.” A loud band rang throughout the hall, Harley going limp in his arms as the sound echoed ominously and his heart literally stopped in his chest. J roared in anger, sweeping her up into his arms as his free hand frantically pressed against the wound in her side in an attempt to staunch the blood flowing freely and scarily fast. Ohhhh that fucker was  _ dead _ . 

His eyes were dark as they raised up to pin Griggs in place. They were stone dead, a coldness in them that hadn’t been there since before he’d been introduced to Doctor Harleen Quinzel. Griggs had never been so scared in his life; there was no sign of anything human in those eyes and if the Joker hated him before, there was no chance of survival after shooting his girl. “You’re  _ dead _ . Hear me? Dead.” He began cackling hysterically, his whole body shaking with the force of it and causing him to jostle Harley. 

She let out a pained groan as she was jerked violently, the movement causing the pain in her side to flare and the burn to spread. “J.” The moaned sound of his name shook him out of his homicidal daze and brought his attention back to the bleeding woman in his arms. Torture could wait, he needed to get her out of here. He spun and began sprinting to the door, hating that he had to turn his back on the guards but knowing he couldn’t run backwards. 

“Hold on, Harls. We’re almost outta here, doll.” And they almost were, they were so close when the second shot fired off, hitting him in the shoulder. He stumbled, hitting the floor with a thud, shouting in anger and fear as Harley tumbled away from him, leaving smears of crimson in her wake. He stretched his hand out to her and watched in horror as she slammed against the door harshly. They had been so close. 

Griggs pounced on the green haired clown, wrenching his arms behind his back and cuffing them. J snarled and began to buck him off, only to be stopped by the burning pain of Griggs digging his fat fingers in the bullet hole he’d made in the clown’s shoulder. “Stay down, Clown.” He growled and bent backwards, snapping at the fingers curled over his shoulder. 

Griggs yanked his hand backwards and balled it up, punching Joker in the shoulder who didn’t even flinch rather choosing to simply flip them over, biting down on the gauze wrapped around the guard’s throat, grinning smugly as the taste of iron joined the taste of gauze. 

Another guard rushed forward , nightstick already in motion to beat J over the head, his green hair becoming matted with blood, but he still didn’t let go. It took being tased twice and clubbed over the head ten more times before the Joker finally went limp, Griggs gurgling and shoving him off. 

The guard leapt to his feet and began kicking J in the ribs, which is the sight Harley saw as she finally came to. “Hey!” She managed to cough out, painfully scrambling to her feet. She, somehow, managed to sprint over to her lover and tackle Griggs away from him, grabbing the scalpel from the throat of a nearby corpse, and raised it over her head to stab her lover’s attacker in the eye. She snarled dangerously, her eyes glinting with malice and desperation. “Fuck you.” As she brought the blade down, two prongs struck her back, electricity coursing through her and causing her to go limp once more, this time collapsing on top of the weasel beneath her. 

Griggs smirked, hands moving to grip her ass tightly. “This I don’t mind as much.” The other guards chuckled, one radioing for medical support to fix up the prisoners just enough to keep them alive before they got tossed back into their cells. Griggs stood, hauling the blonde with him, and threw her over his shoulder with a slap to the ass. “Never a boring day.” He walked over to the Joker and grinned smugly down at his unconscious form. “Not so tough now are you, clown?” He stomped sharply on his wounded shoulder as he gripped Harley by the thighs. “Med can come see them in their cells. You take him, I’ve got her.” He sent a wink towards Johnson and as he strode off, eager to have his fun with the “Clown Queen of Crime” he had in his arms. 

He stopped before turning the corner as he heard the door open, his subordinates heaving the massive form of the Joker up and beginning to drag him after their commanding officer, as the Bat stepped inside and caused the newer guards to become star struck. The vigilante was dragging a struggling Floyd Lawton who was gagged and in a straitjacket. 

Floyd’s eyes were immediately drawn to the pair of limp and bleeding clowns, and the hand Griggs had on the ass of the blonde one, a move the hitman was positive wasn’t consensual. His eyebrows flew up to his hairline as he took in the scene as a whole. Bodies littered the floor covered in a variety of wounds like he’d never seen, the Joker and Harley Quinn were both bleeding pretty severely, their impossibly white skin covered in cuts and bruises. 

Griggs grinned at the surprised look on the man’s face. Oh, he knew who that was. “Hello, Floyd. See what happens when you don’t behave?” His face was smug as he nodded to the clowns, gripping and shaking Harley’s thigh aggressively. “Harley here thought it’d be fun to cause some trouble and her lover boy thought that sounded like a good idea. Try not to make the same mistake.” 

Floyd rolled his eyes and flicked them towards the bodies on the floor, his message clear:  _ You seem worse off than they do.  _ Griggs grit his teeth, angry at the reminder of the damage his team had been dealt. 

“Take him to F block. I’m sure he’ll enjoy having a hall to himself.” He grinned and waved at the sharpshooter as he was dragged off, enjoying that no matter what happened, he was still the alpha male in charge. “Bye, bye, Floyd. I’m sure we’ll end up being great friends.” If looks could kill, Griggs would be six feet under. 

  
  
  


Joker shot straight up as he woke, grunting in pain as his shoulder twinged as a result of the sudden movement. Shooting others was a lot more fun than being shot. He rose off the concrete floor with another grunt, this one due to annoyance, as he rolled his shoulder testingly. It hurt like a bitch, but he’d had worse. His gaze scanned the cell he’d been crammed into once more, brow furrowing when he realized he was going to have to sleep on the rough floor- if he ever managed to sleep without Harley to soothe the voices. He really should’ve thought twice before dismantling his only bed. 

Memories of launching that bed piece by piece into meat bag guards filled his head and his smile returned, chuckling in enjoyment at the idiots who thought hcouldn’t use a cot as a weapon as well as the mental images of shrieking guards. He no longer regretted destroying his bed. 

J ambled over to his now windowless door, wanting to see if the blood still stained the hall, but instead was met with the sight of Griggs leaving Harley’s cell. The opened door left a naked and unconscious Harley exposed, Griggs grinning viciously at him as he fastened his pants. 

“Told you she’d be calling me daddy.” 

The Joker had seen and been through a lot, but never in his life had he ever felt so enraged. All logical thought left his head, and his vision turned red. The door bowed impossibly and dangerously beneath his weight as he threw himself against it repeatedly, the only thing on his mind being the mutilation and dismantling of the guard who’d violated his Harley. 

“You can try all you like, Clown. But even if you kill me now, you still failed her.” J continued to crash against the door even as Griggs disappeared from view until, what had to be hours later, he crashed to the ground exhausted.  _ Failed her. _

_ He’s right, you failed her. _

The voices tormented him throughout the rest of the night, conjuring images of Griggs thrusting against a limp Harley as she screamed and cried for the Joker. J had never felt guilt before, but Harley was different, as much as he hated to admit it. 

Her wail pierced the air, followed by hysterical laughs and giggles as she woke up and realized what Griggs had done. He’d violated her in the worst way possible, he’d touched what wasn’t his. Only her Puddin got to touch her, see her in that way and Griggs had ruined that. She curled up on her cot, rocking back and forth as she switched between sobs and giggles, pulling harshly at her hair. 

_ He’s going to be furious.  _

_ He won’t want you anymore.  _

_ He’s going to find you repulsive.  _

_ Used.  _

_ Dirty.  _

_ Ruined.  _

They wouldn’t stop, the voices wouldn’t stop. She growled fiercely, stumbling to her feet as the pain in her side burned harshly. If they wouldn’t shut up, she’d make them. She backed up to the wall furthest from her door and surged forward, crashing her head into the rusted metal and sighing happily as everything went dark once more. 

J grew angrier and angrier with each distressed noise Harley made, stalking from one end of the cell to the other. As he turned to make another run, he caught sight of his cotton candy haired girl rushing towards him, wincing as she hit the door with a painful thud and disappeared from view. He knew what she’d done. There had been many nights when one of them stopped the other from taking drastic action to stop the voices through use of distraction. He hadn’t been there to do that this time and the voices were thrilled to have more ammunition against him. In a span of twelve hours, Harley had been struck in the face, drowned, revived, punched again, had her hands shredded by a reinforced window, tased, shot, and raped followed by being tormented by voices so cruel they drove her to knock herself out. 

His girl was tough as nails, and he knew she’d make it through this intact, but he still wanted to carry her home and wrap her up in their big comforter as they watched their favorite shows and she ate way too much junk food. How the dame stayed so thin is anyone’s guess. J snarled, punching his cell door angrily and grinning widely as his imagination ran wild with plans for dear, dead, Griggs. 


	4. Chapter Three: New Digs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley makes a mess of her new digs while the Joker cheers her on.

(Unedited)

Harley rolled over, pain shooting throughout her lithe form as she bit back a groan. Her eyes fluttered open and she leapt to her feet in alarm as she took in her surroundings. This wasn’t the cell she was in before, and even though she was glad to have more room, she felt more exposed. It was a simple cage, with round thick bars that were just far enough apart for her to wedge her shoulder between them if she really wanted to, and a chain link fence surrounded the entirety of the cage. In the corner there was a pile of sheets, no pillow, no mattress. She got the disturbing feeling that she was like a zoo animal being placed on display. 

The blonde sighed and slowly unfurled onto the balls of her feet, hands stretching upwards toward the filthy skylight that was barley allowing a small amount of murky light to filter through. Her hands shot to her side as a ferocious burn erupted from her forgotten bullet wound in the result of her stretching and the blonde let out a yelp. Fuck, she’d forgotten about that, which might be a side effect of knocking herself out through a forceful collision with a very solid door she supposed. Her head snapped to the side as large metal doors slammed open and her hands dropped from the gauze wrapped around her torso to keep from showing any sign of weakness. A lone guard entered, his pace timid and his shoulders tensed, he was carrying a tray of what she figured was supposed to be food but looked more like mush. 

Her eyes narrowed before widening innocently as she danced over to the bars, tiny fingers encircling one as she leaned her head demurely against it and her lashes fluttered. “Hiya!” The guard faltered for a moment before continuing up to the chain link fence. 

“I’ve got your dinner here, Miss. Quinn.”  _ Fuck yes.  _ Satisfaction curled in her belly at the way he looked at her. This she could work with.

“What’s your name honey?” Her voice was thickly sweet and gentle as she gave him a smile. The guard, younger than any of the others she’d seen, looked around as if to make sure no one would be able to hear his response and mumbled out a quiet ‘Brian’ before shuffling closer and opening the first gate. Harley’s grin developed an edge as the satisfaction grew. She had him hook, line, and sinker and all she’d done was ask for his name. “Hi, Brian. Thanks for the food.” Her smile turned sweet once more just before his eyes returned to her face and she bit her lip enticingly.

“You’re welcome,” he mumbled, a blush flooding his cheeks.

“Can you do me the tiniest favor, Brian? My stay here has been sooo rough,” she sniffled for effect as fake tears brimmed along her lash line, “and you could be a big help.” He looked at her warily, brown eyes flicking across her face in search of deception but finding none as Harley had been manipulating others since she was a small child, long before Harleen had died in a vat of chemicals. She knew she was laying it on a bit thick, but he was almost a kid and he seemed to be eating it up. 

“Um, like what?” Her grin widened as she pressed herself fully against the bars of her cage and used them to show off the curves her baggy jumpsuit hid from view. 

“Well, you see, I miss my Puddin’ soooo much, and now I don’t even know where he is! Not to mention that my side hurts really bad from that stupid bullet.” Harls pouted and tapped her side lightly. 

“I can’t take you to see the Joker, miss.” 

“Oh, no, don’t worry, Brian. I would never put you in that position, but if you could just tell me that he’s okay and that he knows I’m okay too, it would make everything a thousand times better.” Her grin was blinding as Brian shifted on his feet and finally,  _ finally _ , opened the last door separating the two of them before setting the tray of mush on the floor. Harley took hesitant steps towards him in an effort to keep him from bolting and lifted the tray from where he’d placed it. “Thank you.” 

He’d nearly fled from the cage when she’d started moving towards him but for some reason had chosen to stay and watch her with wide eyes. She could almost see the thoughts spinning round his head, the wonder at how nice she was being and the question of what made him so special? The answer was nothing except for the fact that he had information she wanted. “Um, Joker’s okay. They stitched him up at the same time as you and then moved him to a different cell.”

“Where?” It took everything in her not to snap the word and to say it gently instead. 

“Actually, right there.” His words were less shaky now as he turned to point to one of the cells that lined the walls and spanned three levels. The cell Brian pointed out was the closest to her own and the door seemed even more reinforced than the ones on the cells they’d been occupying previously. She was surprised they’d even been positioned so close together and once again had a direct line of sight of each other. The one in charge had to be one cocky bitch.

“He’s so close.” She couldn’t keep the whimper out of her voice at the fact that, once more, he was so near and still out of her reach. Brian lifted a hesitant hand and patted her twice on the shoulder, resulting in Harley having to nearly hold herself back from ripping his arm from his socket as rage replaced the sadness that had previously filled her chest. 

“Yeah, Griggs said something about Waller wanting you to be able to see each other. He’d told her it was a bad idea, you proved him right on that one, but for some reason this time ‘round he was all for it.” Harley’s eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. So, this ‘Waller’ wanted to see them suffer as they longed for each other, and Griggs wanted J to have to see her all alone after what he’d put her through and yet these people called her and Puddin’ the sadistic crazies? After holding herself back the entire time this piece of shit had been in her cage, she finally allowed herself to snap. 

Her hands lashed out and wrapped themselves around the elbow nearest to her in a deathly tight grip before yanking him into her chest. The boy let out a harsh yelp before the pale woman managed to twine herself around him and drag him to the ground. Her hands gripped his hair tightly and smashed his head repeatedly into the concrete floor of her cage, a thrill running through her at the crimson that started to coat it. 

A harsh cackle rang from across the room and Harley’s head snapped animalistically in its direction, greeted by the Joker’s dusty blue eyes gleaming at her from the window of his cell, his silver teeth and green hair vibrant against the grey backdrop. Harley perked up, her attention turning from the boy sobbing beneath her to her lover, a brilliant grin splitting her cheeks. “Puddin!” She leapt up and darted out the still open cage door and chain link fence gate and straight to the Joker’s cell, pressing her face against the thick window. 

J chuckled, eyes narrowed in pleasure at how thrilled she was to see him. The way Joker acted had always reminded Harley of a jungle cat, this being further proven by the way he began purring and nuzzling his own cheek against hers through thick plexiglass. “Hi, baby.” His words were heady and soothing, causing a shiver to run down Harley’s back. 

She leapt back and stretched onto her toes in an attempt to scan him over analytically, fully in doctor mode. “Are you okay? I saw Griggs kicking the shit outta you, not to mention the bullet that got lodged in your shoulder.” J was torn between annoyance at her mothering and amusement at how worried she was. 

“I’m fine, ya loon. How’s your side? Still bleeding?” His grin was oddly wicked and caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach and a heat to blossom down below despite nothing in that question being remotely sexual. She leaned forward once more, lashes fluttering enticingly as her eyes darkened into the colour of sapphires. 

“All fixed up, Pud. Can’t keep me down.” Her words were more like purrs and he responded in kind, leaning closer to her through the door as he let out a growl. 

“Ooh don’t I know it.” His tongue darted out to wet his red lips, a motion Harley watched very closely before mimicking it unknowingly as she desperately wished that it was her tongue tracing his mouth. “Having fun with that guard, Harls?”

She pouted, bottom lip jutting out as far as it could go, shoulders sagging. “He made me angry, Mistah J. Besides, I’d be having a lot more fun if it was you I was pinning to the ground.” She snapped her teeth with a loud click followed by a wicked smile. Her fingers delicately gripped the zipper of her jumpsuit and dragged it down an infinitesimal amount, her pale flesh contrasting sharply with the bright orange of the jumpsuit. His eyes gleamed mischievously at her as he watched her fingers slowly expose more and more flesh to his gaze. 

“What the fuck?!” Harley whirled around at the familiar voice, her muscles tightening in preparation for a fight as Griggs’ battered face snarled at her from the doors. The Joker lashed out against the steel separating him from the violence brewing just out of his reach, while Harley grinned too widely and waved too enthusiastically at the guard staring at her with a mix of malice and horror. 

“Hiya, Mister. As fun as it would be to finish ripping out your esophagus, I’m kinda in the middle of a date. Maybe we could reschedule?” The guard stared at her with a gaped mouth for a few minutes before switching his gaze to the incapacited young man sprawled and bleeding on her opened cage’s floor.

“Stupid fucking Brian.”

“Hey,” She snapped, “I don’t appreciate you talking about my new friend that way, Mister.” 

“Do all your friends end up with concaved foreheads?”

Her frown turned into a sweet smile, the threat of violence in her voice adding a bewildering effect that caused Griggs’ brain to twist oddly. “Only those who are boring. What about you,” she leaned onto her toes and squinted, as if she were looking for a name stitched onto his uniform, of which there wasn’t one.

“I’m not giving you my name, hotness. Now why don't you do yourself a favor and just go ahead and return to your little cage before I’m tempted to have some more fun.” A loud growl sounded from behind Harley, an unneeded reminder of the Joker’s presence. 

“Sorry, but I don’t think my Puddin’ likes the sound of that. Besides, a girl has standards ya know and neither you nor that cage quite measure up.” She giggled and began to skip an odd, yet planned path that weaved around the cage and towards Griggs, whose hand rested on his firearm. “Poor, dear guard, Mistah J. He just can’t seem to get any unless the dame’s sedated and in a cell.” The pout she sent towards her lover was exaggerated and screamed danger, and Griggs felt a chill go up his spine at the Joker’s answering laugh. “Well, I think it’s my turn to have some fun. Whaddya think, Mistah J?”

“Oh Harley, baby, I don’t think you’ve ever had a better idea ya loony toon.” She giggled and leaned onto her toes to blow him an obnoxious kiss, all while keeping Griggs in her peripheral and her muscles tensed in case he decided to do something stupid. 

“Ya always know what to say, Pud.” Griggs chose that moment to fake gag loudly, evoking a groan from Brian who was still crumpled on the floor. Harley turned to the cell with a crinkled brow. “You still alive in there, Brian? Huh. That’s a shocker.” She giggled perversely at the thought of the weak boy still clinging to life, as did the Joker who was thoroughly enjoying the show, before turning back to Griggs. “And what are you gagging at, sicko?! You’re the one who thinks it’s okay to touch a lady without permission!” 

“I’m the sicko?” He gestured roughly between her and the bleeding guard before shaking his head with a laugh. “Lady, you got some serious issues.” 

“I might be a bad guy, Mister, but so are you. Take it from me, I used to cure em.” She let out a laugh and spun around, the energy her body had sent to the muscles coiled tightly under her skin in preparation for a fight began to crackle uncomfortably. “You got some serious problems going on up here.” She tapped her temple and grinned. 

“Maybe.” He shrugged both noncommittally and dismissively before pulling out his nightstick. “But I’m not the one locked up in a government blacksite.” 

“I look locked up to you, Mister?” The Joker had had enough with the banter, he wanted to see this bastard’s blood spill, and while he may be currently unable to rip the guard’s skin from his bones, Harley was perfectly capable. 

“Stop talking, Harls, and get on with it!” 

“Yes, Daddy.” She sent him a wink and while Griggs was too busy gagging once more, she launched an impossible distance (thank you years and years of gymnastics) to once again dig her nails into his flesh. Her left hand dug her nails deep into the fatty skin of his cheek while her right gripped his nightstick. Her slippered foot lashed out and caught him in the knee cap, causing him to drop to the other one. She leapt up, and using his own thigh as leverage, catapulted herself onto his shoulders before wrapping her legs around his neck in a vice and throwing them both backwards. They lay there on the ground, Griggs’ face turning an unattractive shade of purple as Harley’s thighs kept his throat in a vice, obstructing his airway, while she reached down and viscously and repeatedly clubbed him in the ribs with his own weapon. 

The Joker was greatly enjoying watching his Harlequin beat the man senseless while simultaneously strangling him to death, he was even clapping and throwing out words of encouragement along with suggestions, when those big metal doors swung open again. When Griggs had left his squadron fifteen minutes ago to see what was keeping Brian so long, he’d been in the middle of a meeting of sorts with Floyd Lawton. After his men had returned the prisoner to his cell they had waited for their leader to return. Five minutes turned into ten and ten into fifteen and seeing how these men knew just how dangerous the clown couple was, they decided to check on their commanding officer. It seemed their concern was justified. Shouting broke out amongst the regiment as half surged forward to remove the giggling blonde from Griggs’ now limp body while the others rushed to check on Brian. 

Harley eventually allowed herself to be ripped off Griggs, and her giggles turned into full blown laughter as they hauled up Brian. “He’s not looking too good there, fellas. I mean, there’s no denying he was ugly when he walked in here, but now-” Harley let out an ooph as the nearest guard with his hands free socked her in the stomach. The clowns’ laughter continued and mingled scarily in the air as Joker watched Harley free herself in a rather impressive move, her arm twisting in a way that should’ve guaranteed a dislocated shoulder, but somehow ended with her loose and holding a gun snatched from the holster of the guard who’d she’d been pressed against. 

“Don’t you boys ever learn? Surely you receive training or something? I mean come on,” she dragged out the vowels mockingly in the last two words, pointing the barrel of the gun she’d stolen right between the eyes of the guard directly in front of her, keeping him and his compatriots still. 

“Harley!” The Joker barked out. “Pay attention, you ditzy dame! Behind you!” She dropped her arm and spun, just barely dodging the swipe of a nightstick aimed at the back of her skull. 

“Didn’t your mother ever teach ya not to hit a lady?!” She screeched as she shot him three times in the face, leaving it nearly unrecognisable. The gun went off a fourth time as the guards she’d just turned her back on tackled her to the ground in overwhelming numbers. Her small body was pinned to the by the crushing weight of a multitude of heavy armoured men, and she shrieked indignantly as she struggled to get out from under them. “Get off me, get off!” She managed to wiggle her elbow free and smash it into one of the guards’ noses, but another guard was quick to grab it, pulling her arm straight and pulling it through what she knew had to be the sleeve of a straitjacket. 

It took them a solid ten minutes to wrangle a cursing and swinging Harley Quinn fully into the restraining piece of fabric, the buckles being fastened too tight, resulting in the blood flow to her fingers being cut off. The Joker was growling out harsh and violent promises as he watched his Harley be restrained so aggressively, his own memories reminding him just how painful and uncomfortable those jackets could be. His eyes followed them as they dragged her by the hair back into her cage, treating her like a beast one would expect to see in such a cage as she thrashed and spit and kicked violently at the knees surrounding her. 

“I’m gonna kill you! I’m gonna pull your fingers from their joints and feed them to you! I’m gonna cut your eyelids out and make you look at them from your bloodied eyes!”

“Shut up, blondie. You’re in a straitjacket and about to be in a cage, you ain’t gonna do shit.”

The guards shifted uneasily at Harley’s answering shrieks, the inhuman noises she was making matching the inhuman treatment she was receiving. The Joker could do nothing but pound at the door as his Harley’s noises shredded the inside of his mind, the voices joining in and causing a violent cacophony that could only be quieted with bloodshed. This place was nothing like Arkham Asylum. Atleast at Arkham there were naive doctors who thought they could ‘help’, who believed they could be cured and therefore treated them with a modicum of kindness. So, while the Clown King of Crime could do without the pudding brained loons in the cafeteria, and the simpering doctors who pleaded to his nonexistent morals and/or heart, at least he didn’t have to worry so much about his only light being beaten, shot, and raped. He knew Arkham like the back of his hand, he knew every nook and cranny, which guards Harley could rely on to treat her like a human and which ones to avoid. At Arkham J knew he could get himself and Harley out in a reasonable amount of time and in an entertaining way. Arkham was a bit of a vacation where he and his dame got to play with a few minds and turn them into soup. But here, here was new territory. 

If it was just himself he had to worry about J would be having a blast, but Harley was here too and the ditzy woman was a magnet for danger and had no self preservation- as was evidenced by literally every event that led up to her going from Doctor Harleen Quinzel to the infamous Harley Quinn. They were in deep shit, and J needed to get them out before Harley wound up dead. It took a long time for the Joker to come to terms with his desire to keep his clown alive, but he did want to keep her alive and she was determined to make it difficult for him. Besides, if anyone was gonna kill her, it was gonna be J- it's what the blonde would want too.

The harsh clanging sound echoing through the air shook Joker from his thoughts and his attention returned to the dark haired guard whose death he craved more than anyone’s before. His beady eyes were already staring at him smugly, arms folded across his chest. J snarled at the sight, gnashing his teeth together so violently that if they hadn’t already been pieced together with his silver grill they would’ve crumbled from his mouth. The guard stepped to the side, revealing a wriggling and cursing Harley, crimson slowly spreading through the thick white fabric of the straitjacket. She’d obviously busted the stitches of her gunshot wound open and it was now bleeding profusely enough to have obviously started penetrating the jacket. The guard pointed at the flailing Clown Queen and smiled sadistically. 

“If you and your clown bitch don’t start behaving, she’s gonna get a lot worse and next time- I’ll make sure you have to watch.”


End file.
